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Medical Jokes (Teacher: Michael)

There was guy in hospital was scheduled for surgery. On morning of his operation he starts yelling he wants coffee. nurse comes in and asks him to be quiet, as he is disturbing other patients.
"But I've had coffee every morning for forty years and I want cup of coffee NOW!" he screamed.

The nurse quickly and silently counts to ten and replies, "Now sir, you realize you are due to go into surgery in hour and you can't have anything on your stomach. Couldn't you do without coffee just once?"

The guy starts to rant even more and doctor comes in to see what is matter with patient. nurse explains situation to him and doctor turns to belligerent man in bed before him, "You understand you can't have anything in your stomach before surgery, don't you?"

"I don't care. I. Want. Some. Coffee!!!!"
The doctor thinks for minute and says, "Very well. I'll tell you what; only way we can give you any coffee is through enema. Would make you happy?"
The guy pauses and replies, "Well, if that's only way I can get any coffee around here..."

So doctor tells nurse to give guy coffee enema to keep him quiet. nurse returns with enema bag and fresh pot of hot coffee.
She pours it into bag, greases up applicator and sticks it up guy's ass. "Ah, hot coffee!" guy says with satisfied tone.
All of sudden he starts into bitching and complaining again. "What's matter time?!" exasperated nurse yells out. "It's too sweet!" guy replies.

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